the end

As I peck this post out one-fingered, I am pumping for what will probably be one of the last – if not the last – time.

You all know how much this means to me. Didn’t I subject you all to the endless obsessive details?

I think we had a pretty good run, in the end. Considering. BB weaned himself at ten months, but I have continued exclusively pumping for another six. That’s sixteen months altogether. Sixteen months of breastmilk for my son.

Lately, though, it’s been becoming more of a hassle. I’ve been frustrated by the extra time needed every morning and the sacrifice of my own time in the evening. I have found myself worrying about the possible effects of ingesting high dosages of domperidone for more than a year. I have been plonking BB in front of bad television in order to buy myself time to pump his bottles.

Enough is enough. He is old enough for cows milk now, or soy milk. He doesn’t care what squirts out of that rubber teat. It is time to cut myself some slack. I know it’s time.

But that doesn’t make me less sad.

 

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14 Responses to “the end”

  1. Anita Says:

    You have done great Meg. Pat yourself on the back. Most people would have given up many months ago.

    I feel your sadness Meg, I really do. The pumping didn’t work out so well for me even with the domperidone. Graeme and I are down to one nursing session (middle of the night) now and as much as I want to sleep through the night I don’t want to give that last one up. His birthday is in 6 weeks and I will be pleased with myself if we make it to then. I worry about the effects of almost a year of domperidone too.

  2. sky girl Says:

    Wow! I can’t believe that you’re still at it! Good on you Meg. Seriously. I gave up at around 7 months. Pumping was never my friend. This time I’m going to rent a high grade pump and see if that helps.

    BTW, I noticed you mentioned soy milk. You may want to be careful with that. Lots of estrogen in soy and they say to limit boys to 1 serving of soy a day if they have to have it at all. At least, that’s what I read. There’s probably lots of opinions out there.

  3. beagle Says:

    You’ve done an amazing job. I’m not sure it helps to hear that . . . but you have.

  4. MsPrufrock Says:

    I can’t begin to bestow you with enough kudos for that accomplishment! With all the difficulty you had with this whole process, it is amazing that you have persevered. Well done!

  5. electriclady Says:

    Wow–you should be so proud of yourself for making it this long, especially with everything you had to go through. I am so impressed!

    I know it’s really sad to be letting go, but in a week or two you will be thrilled with all the extra time you have. Just watch out for the crazy mood swings/sadness you’ll get when your prolactin drops–I was totally unprepared, myself.

  6. Brandy Says:

    Oh, I completely understand your sadness. I had planned to nurse Aiden until he was at least a year old but I ended up getting pregnant when he was 9 months old and with the shift of my hormones I just wasn’t producing enough and he weaned himself at 11 months. Since he was so healthy and we were so close to a year my doc said it would be okay to go to cow’s milk and he’s been happily sucking that down ever since. It’s a sad time though and just know that you’ve done an amazing and wonderful thing for him.

  7. Erin Says:

    It is really sad to stop, no matter that they’re old enough to take something else. It is something that no one else was able to do for your child, one of the few things that friends and family can’t do for them. It’s special. You’ve done a wonderful thing for your son and he will benefit for the rest of his life from your having done so. Give him some special hugs and cuddles, as much for yourself as for him.

  8. Becky Says:

    You did an amazing job, dude. Seriously.

  9. samsstories Says:

    I am sorry that you are sad, it is understandable. I still dream about breastfeeding 11 years later.

    That said: You fucking rocked the boob world, woman!! You persevered through all kinds of crap and kept on trucking. You deserve a gold star and I am proud of you!!

  10. ll Says:

    faaark…. no wonder the posts are few and far between… you’ve had your norgs stuck to a pump non stop, and working outside the home too… amazing job…. you’re a legend

  11. Bea Says:

    Bitter sweet. But in the end, you did well.

    Other than that, sounds like craziness as usual. Hope BuddhaBabe throws caution to the wind shortly – that’ll keep you on your toes.

    Bea

  12. Lut C. Says:

    Finally! No longer will your incredible determination to breastfeed against all odds cause pangs of envy. 😉

    Just teasing. You’ve done so well, put in so much effort. I can understand you feel some regret, but I hope you feel proud at what you’ve accomplished more.

  13. Michelle Says:

    I’m in awe of you for keeping it up for so long. You truly have been amazing and inspiring.

  14. Pam/Wordgirl Says:

    Hi Meg,

    I have been meaning to write you a nice long email — I’ve loved our exchanges I just got swept up in things…I can’t chime in much on breastfeeding but from what I understand he’s had more than enough time for all the benefits — and you do need to take care of yourself and guard your time — I completely get it.

    If you go easy on yourself I’ll try to go easy on MYself…how’s that sound?

    XO

    Pam

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