Archive for the ‘Tantrums N Tears’ Category

dumped

February 29, 2008

Last week, I got dumped.

Not by my husband, but by a girlfriend.

It was kind of my fault. Well, not really my fault, but I started it. I was the one who sent the confrontational, impulsive email bitching about the fact that she couldn’t, or wouldn’t  rather, make it to my son’s birthday party.

But it wasn’t about the birthday party. It was about every other time I’ve made plans with her in the last year, when she has called and broken them. It was about the fact that she has met Buddha Baby precisely twice. It was about the fact that somewhere along the line, she changed the rules on our friendship.

When I got back from work after our to-ing and fro-ing, T. asked me: Are you sure she wasn’t just breaking up with you?

See, I read an excerpt online recently, on a book about female friendships, and about how there are no protocols for ending them. It talked about the way women do this, how they just ignore calls, break plans, act like they’re “just busy”. It talked about how all of us do it – that we have all been the dumper and the dumpee at different times. And how hurtful and how painful that is respectively.

I thought about it. 

And there was a little cartoon lightbulb that flashed up above my head for a moment.

Isn’t this so simple and so true? I’ve had this happen several excrutiating times in my life – and worse, I’ve done it to others. I’ve groaned at the thought of having to call certain friends back, and just not. I have actually inflicted that crap on other people.

Anyway, so then I felt guilty for being so forthright about it all, and I composed a very neat, very gentle and not-at-all-pissed-off email to her. And I basically said all that – about the book and whatnot – and apologised for being confrontational and last-strawish and said that I hoped that wasn’t what was going on.

And she returned my emails. No answer. No nothing. Just the old Mailer Daemon flashing pixels of rejection at me in my work inbox.

I can’t believe we are grown women doing this to each other.

January 1, 2008

2:13am. Can’t sleep.

I hope everyone had a lovely New Years. Mine was a bit sucky. Not all of it – mostly the bit where the kids decided one hour before leaving that they didn’t want to go to my sister’s place for dinner after all and T. was supporting them and I had to have a massive tanty and basically force all three into the car.

(Well, T. is in receipt of yet another man-cold  –you so have to click off and see this; it’s hilarious — so I can’t entirely blame him. But I can blame him for refusing to take any cold and flu tablets for it.)

So blah. Then we got to my sister’s and they were virtually audibly sulking and I was all worked up and I had to walk around the block with my sister to cool off and then I was naughty and had a cigarette because I was so angry. And then everything looked hideously bleak and we came back and everyone there felt awkward for a while.

The night improved after that, luckily. I have not yet served divorce papers nor murdered my step-children in a surge of angry bloodlust.

And there you go, baby stirring now. Have to go before it reaches full capacity and it takes too long to get him back down. Press publish.

Goodnight.