Archive for the ‘To Dooce Myself’ Category

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March 2, 2008

Last year, when I applied to do my (coursework) Masters (ie. it sounds more impressive than it is) I put all thoughts of being unable to cope with the load at the back of my head. Seeing as it was my principal’s condition of starting work in the library, I figured that it was be overwhelmed by studying or be overwhelmed by marking in a regular teaching position. I chose the former.

I don’t regret it. But fuck, I am stressing about what’s coming up. It’s just the early days now. 

In terms of work, it’s sometimes hard being in a new role  when I don’t have the energy or inclination to be 100% open to it. I’m struggling with working under someone again, after beng the master of my domain for so long. The head teacher-librarian is one of these dynamic, lateral, quirky people who are lots of fun and quite visionary… but at the same time are ridiculously disorganised. She has a bit of a despotic streak too, in that she’ll often tell me (off) to do things a particular way, yet not have the organisational skills to do it that way herself.

It’s a little frustrating. I find myself unintentionally locking horns with her occasionally, my adolescent rebellious streak flashing up.

At these moments, I try to remind myself it will be my library one day.

I am excited about the possibilities of it, though. I’m enjoying getting into the meaty theory of the study, even though the reading list, even for the one unit I’m taking this semester, is almost more than I can cope with right now. Would you believe there is more to teacher-librarianship than checking out books and telling kids off for eating in the library?

So that part of it is good. I won’t get bored, something my teaching colleagues keep asking me if I am.

So there you go. Work update. Am struggling through. Certainly wouldn’t want any more than the three days, but am mostly enjoying those that I’m there. Not can’t-wait-to-get-to-work enjoying, but not watching the clock or being repulsed either. I’ve made some pretty handouts.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s all we can ask for. Is there actually anyone who really loooooves their job?

Or just people who say they do?