Here’s the boring “pregnancy announcements bite” post we’ve all heard a zillion times.
But don’t they?
The women in my mother’s group are all working on second children now. Two have just been born, one is around 20 weeks, and now… two more pregnancies have been announced – 7 weeks and 13 weeks. Then there’s my sister, of course – but my goodwill seems to stop after babies I am going to be related to.
I am so glad that I was one of the first women I knew to have a baby, so that I never truly had to deal with this while I was in the throes of IF.
I was lucky.
Because it’s hard even now not to be a bitter old cow: how fucking nice for you, people.
Even though I always said I only wanted one; couldn’t handle the two of my stepchildren fighting. Even though I don’t think I’d have the strength to face IVF and high risk pregnancy. Even though the fact of the matter is my husband says I’m not allowed to have more (and fair enough, he is in his 50s. One child was our compromise, after all.)
But still. Part of me wishes. And part of me still wants to punch things.
And part of me just wants to be able to let it go.
Rememberella 
January 22, 2009 at 2:20 pm |
During the throes of my infertility I heard (read?) that IF women stop mourning their fertility after menopause. If that is the case, I welcome a properly timed hot flash (not the premature ones my ivf cocktails induced.)
Thinking of you, knowing just how you feel.
January 22, 2009 at 3:26 pm |
I’m not even close to a place where I’m ready to have another. Not sure if and when I WILL be in that place.
And yet? I think the same thing. “How fucking nice for you.”
You’re not alone.
xx
January 22, 2009 at 4:56 pm |
Even with both of mine now, with as completely OK as I am with having adopted our second, with still not being entirely sure that I’m ready to throw our hats into the IVF ring–I still think the same thing as you. Sometimes it’s not so hard and other times? It completely bites not to even have the option. I think it’s harder to have your choices taken away than it is to make the choice not to use them.
January 22, 2009 at 7:30 pm |
It might be a classic post, but there’s a reason for it. When it’s raining PG announcements, who can’t use a sympathetic pat on the shoulder?
Mourning until menopause?! That’s still a while to go (I hope).
January 23, 2009 at 2:40 am |
I have some super fertile friends; some have had their THIRD while we are still trying for our first.
Sometimes hearing the news puts a little more salt on an open wound. I wonder if the wound ever full scabs over?
January 25, 2009 at 7:37 am |
I hear you entirely.
January 25, 2009 at 11:29 am |
It’s just nice to know you have options. That you can make your own decisions for yourself.
Bea